When you’re a parent, there’s so many things you need to teach your children. Things like: Don’t kill people, don’t rape people, don’t marry stand-up comedians. But probably one of the most important things you teach them is their taste in music.

If you have your kids listening to Kidz Bop and Radio Disney, you’ve already doomed them to a life of glue huffing and handing out hobo blowjobs at the Greyhound station. (Kidding, but not kidding) However, if you want your child to be normal, you just let them listen to whatever, because, really, who gives a shit? They’ll be fine, it’s only entertainment. Just make sure you’re REALLY pushing that no killing/raping thing.

I’ve raised my girls with distinctly different types of music. With my oldest, she listened to Cash, Waits, Dylan, Sigur Ros, Mogwai, The Pixies, and Kanye and Jay-Z. The Midget more or less HATES all of this music now (it probably has a lot to do with the fact that she’s becoming a shithead teenager and pretends to hate everything I like). But I think–maybe, just maybe?–the music she listened to as a small child helped shape her into the thoughtful, intelligent young woman she’s turning into.

With the baby, I’ve been bringing her up on a solid diet of hip-hop, Bowie, Patti Smith, Lou Reed, Iggy Pop, and 1970’s soul. I’m pretty sure she’s going to turn out as well as her sister … I’ve just gotta get her over the whole headbutting me in the nose and profanity thing.

Yeah, anyway, that was a long preamble to my #FridayReads: Please Kill Me.

It’s really good, you should read it.